I feel like I need to go crazy. Not sure how, but a little bit of me needs to explode. I want to meet new people, dye my hair, travel, decorate, learn how to do things, speak languages, feel alive. I am here in Iraq for a year, so I have the traveling in. Hopefully I will get a tutor in the next couple of weeks, actually learn a second language. There is so much instability though, such a new way of doing things, I feel as though I am just dipping my toes in, I want to jump in! It was a reassuring thought yesterday that my dignity does not matter. What matters is why I am here, what I do with the time that I am given. Responsibility, but I want to hold onto the sense of adventure. You would think the sense of adventure would just present itself, but it can get swallowed. The wonder of the world is all around, and yet I can get distracted by making my bed.
I feel as though I may become part of the percentile of those who are unwed due to craziness. I am not sure what that percentage is. But the likelihood of that is high. Unless I find a crazy guy who wants to run around the world and never stop. It's a constructive version of duck duck goose that spans continents.
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